There are over 1,000 Sex Addict Anonymous meetings in the U.S. each year. This number continues to grow as more people discover their addictions. Identifying it is a little more difficult than other addictions because we all enjoy sex.There are many symptoms that can paint a clear picture of someone who is an addict. We’ve put together eight warning signs that may not be definitive on their own but combined tell a different story. Getting your partner to see their sex addiction for what it is can be difficult. But, noticing the signs your partner is a sex addict is a good first step in helping him or her.
The first step to treating hypersexuality is being aware and admitting you have a problem.
This first sign may not be the easiest to detect for some couples. If your partner masturbates every day, even after sex, they might be addicted. This is because that no matter how good sex is, their mind is never sated.
They masturbate a lot before meeting you, and they can’t break the habit.
We’re not here to kink-shame by any means. Rather, we’re asking to consider just how deviant their sexual behavior is. Are they constantly asking you to try kinkier fetishes? Is traditional sex never good for them?
If their kinks border on abuse or degradation, then this could be a huge red flag. Someone who operates only through what’s out there in the porn industry will constantly be looking for something taboo to try.
Sex addiction centers around escapism and is ripe with guilt. Lying is the only way to keep themselves from examining their own behavior. Addicts will lie about the smallest of things because their entire lives are one.
It will eventually reach a tipping point where harmless lies turn into deception and maybe even maliciousness. This is especially true when they get caught in lies and their behavior is put into question.
Not all sex addicts cheat, and not all cheaters are addicts. The two definitely share a lot of overlap, however.
If your partner has cheated multiple times, then they might be an addict to some degree. If your partner has never cheated but has all the other signs of a sex addict, it may be time to question it.
Another related warning sign with regards to cheating is the insistence on being in a polyamorous relationship. There are some genuine merits to being in a poly relationship, but if it isn’t brought up early in the relationship, it might be an excuse.
Most addictions will accompany this warning sign. At some point in the relationship, your partner will feel less engaged and more distant.
A sex addict will denote a lot of time, energy, and money on their addiction. This is no different than a gambling addiction or a drug addiction.
They will feel guilty about their behaviour and pull away emotionally, as well. Now, they’re around you less, talk to you less, and start to feel like a different person. Sexual addiction can be a silent killer of relationships.
Short Relationship History
Does your partner come off as someone afraid of commitment? Are their past relationships all casual? Could you say they are all based on sex?
These questions may lead you to reflect on how much your own relationship is based on sex. If their exes are all normal-sounding but none of them lasted longer than a year, then it could be a sign.
You may need to do your own detective work on this one, as they’ll likely lie about why they broke up.
Once someone hits their 30s and have never held a long-term relationship, it shows a pattern. A sex addict can fall in love with someone, but they may never truly be able to commit all of themselves to the other person.
Keeps Electronics Close
This is a little quirk that may not seem unusual on its own but definitely provides a connection to sex addicts.
If you never see your partner leave their phone around or browse openly, then they might be hiding something. This also falls into the category of cheater behavior, too.
Ask your partner if you can use their phone or computer for a minute. Look for any hesitation or questioning as to why you need to use it. If they do say ‘yes’ then note how long it takes for them to hand it to you.
A clear screen, with no browsing history, or anything remotely sexy on their devices is a tell-tale sign. Some people are really that boring, but not when they act like they have something to hide all the time. Using Incognito Mode or constant clearing of history means shame and guilt.
Asks for Sex All the Time
This will be the most obvious sign of a sex addict, of course. It is worth mentioning just because we all have opinions as to how much is too much. If they are looking for it every day, no matter how busy you are, then it’s probably too much.
If they hop into bed and wake you up with them trying to initiate sex, you should question it. If they continue to pursue it when you’ve already said ‘no’ for tonight, then they might be an addict.
Confronting a Sex Addict
If you’re reading this and are nodding along to each point made, you need to decide on your future. Will you convince your partner to seek help or decide it’s too much for you to handle?
Doing nothing is not an option. It’s only going to delay the inevitable.
Addiction always ruins relationships when it goes unchecked, no matter how in love you are together. Be proactive and address your concerns bluntly. If they are willing to seek treatment, there are professionals here to help.
Seeing Signs Your Partner is a Sex Addict & Don’t Know What To Do.
At Blair Wellness Group, we have trained medical experts who know how to overcome addiction. Contact us today to put your partner on a path on a recovery to living a normal, healthy life again.