Being a parent must be one of the most difficult jobs out there. Your work never ends, you don’t get a vacation where you can forget all about it, and you’re always concerned about your kids, no matter how old they are. All kidding aside, being a parent is also amazing and it is far from being a job. Having kids is one of the best things in the world and it is very rewarding. However, parents do sometimes experience a lot of headaches due to their kids’ behaviour. If you don’t know how to handle your teenagers’ behaviour, keep reading and find out!
Don’t give away your power
One of the things teenagers just love to do is push your buttons. They may tease or disobey you, they may not listen to you, or even worse, talk back to you. They could do all sorts of things to provoke you. Any of these are probably enough for you to lose your temper and act poorly.
However, this isn’t the best-case scenario. What you should do instead is to try and keep calm. The less annoyed you get, the more objective you’ll be when handling the situation. Even if they’re really pushing your buttons, do your best to remain calm. If you do this, you’ll come up with a much better way to solve the issue and reach the best decision.
Healthy and clear boundaries are the key features of any relationship. The same goes for parenthood. Your kids will always want to experience greater independence. They will even challenge you to test whether they can become more independent. When something like this occurs, setting boundaries is essential if you want to maintain a constructive relationship. Make sure that the boundaries are articulated clearly.
Another thing you need to make sure is that the boundaries are fair and reasonable. They should also be applied consistently. This way, you can earn their trust and show them that their well-being is important to you. You shouldn’t neglect their feeling when setting boundaries. You need to respect them before you expect them to respect you. That way, they can learn by model and see in which direction their behaviour should go.
Make communication assertive and effective
Communication is another important feature of a constructive relationship. You need to remember that good communication is your way to effective leadership. Young people can get very difficult to talk to and it’s up to you to find your way with them. If you master assertive communication with your kids, you’ll be able to achieve any goal. You’ll know how to tell if your kid is lying, you’ll know how to tell no to them without them overreacting, and you’ll learn how to negotiate with them.
Deal with the problem when it occurs
Your child could get into some pretty bad situations when growing up. Besides being disobedient and rude, they can end up doing an even worse thing. For instance, substance abuse is a common problem for many teenagers. If you notice that your kid is acting differently, don’t wait and see what the problem is.
If it turns out that your child has a drug issue, be there for them. Ask them a lot of questions, but keep an open mind and don’t attack them in any way. If you’re uncertain, you can do a saliva drug test and see what the situation looks like. If your child does have a problem, make sure to help them solve it. Don’t blame them for getting into such a situation, but rather help them get out of it. Learn how to talk to them, educate yourself, and be their ally in the fight against the drugs.
Maintain humour and show empathy
One of the smartest moves you can make is to maintain humour. Of course, you can do this only if the circumstances are mild. The best way to show empathy is not to overreact. Don’t frown at something your child says, but smile instead. If you think of some funny remark, throw it in, and make the situation lighter.
Don’t deal with trivial things. They must know by now everything they should know. If you keep giving unsolicited advice, you may cause the opposite reaction from them than the wanted one. You are not your kids’ enemy and nothing in your behaviour should send that kind of a message. Keep in mind that every action causes some reaction in them and acts accordingly. Show empathy to receive empathy.
Solve problems together
Most of the kids that cause problems do so only because they think adults don’t listen to them. When it comes to any problem, it’s important to solve the cause of a problem, not its consequences. For instance, if the child is disobedient, you can solve that by punishing them, but that won’t be an effective solution. Instead, you need to see why they’re disobedient and get to the core of the issue.
When kids feel like their invisible or not heard, they turn to all sorts of shenanigans. To keep them from doing the wrong thing, make sure to listen to them. Pay attention to their feelings, thoughts, and make yourself available for their opinions. Work as a team and solve any issue that comes up.
Even though parenthood can get a bit difficult, it still is one of the best experiences ever. If you know how to handle a bad situation, you’ll also know how to enjoy the good ones. Make sure to follow these tips and become the parent of the year.