Every year, more than two million couples in the U.S. get married and more than 800,000 get divorced.
Are you and your partner currently going through a rough patch in your marriage? Has one (or both) of you thrown out the "D" word?
Before you decide to pull the plug on your marriage altogether, it may be worth it to counseling a try.
How do you know if you’re at that point, though? How can you tell if you need to work with a marriage counselor?
Read on to learn about some signs that you and your partner could benefit from working with a professional.
Reasons to Hire a Marriage Counselor
There are lots of benefits that come with hiring a marriage counselor. The following are some of the primary reasons why couples ought to consider working with one:
- Learn to manage anger and other emotions in a healthy manner
- Learn appropriate conflict resolution skills
- Learn to communicate in a more effective manner
- Address your needs in a safe, non-judgmental space
- Work through unresolved issues together
- Get to know your partner in a deeper way
Marriage counseling can also help you to clarify your feelings regarding the relationship and determine whether you want to continue to pursue it.
Signs You Need a Marriage Counselor
Here are some signs that you ought to be on the lookout for if you’re on the fence about hiring a counselor:
You Don’t Listen to Each Other
Do you find yourself constantly repeating yourself to your partner? Do they "hear" but not "listen"?
If you feel that you’re speaking to a brick wall, there are clearly some communication issues happening in your marriage.
A counselor can help you and your partner learn to communicate in a more effective way and get to the root of why you don’t seem to listen to each other.
You Argue About the Same Thing
Does it feel that you and your partner are starring in your own version of the movie Groundhog Day? Are you having the same argument over and over again without ever resolving anything?
If you can’t seem to come to an agreement, this is a sign that you could benefit from therapy.
You’re Always Annoyed with Each Other
Does everything your partner does irritate you, from the way they chew their food at breakfast to the way they brush their teeth before bed at night?
If you’re always annoyed with your partner, or if they always seem to be annoyed with you, a counselor can help you figure out what’s really going on.
You Seek Support Elsewhere
When you’re upset or frustrated, do you turn to your partner for support? Or, do you turn to someone else?
If you don’t feel that you can talk to your partner about what’s bothering you, or if they’re simply not the person you think of when you need help, something serious is going on in your marriage that needs to be addressed.
You’re Always Fighting
Forget arguing — are you and your partner having drag down, knock out fights on a regular basis?
Fighting from time to time is normal and healthy. If you’re fighting all the time, though, that’s a sign that something is not right.
You Never Fight
On the flip side, do you and your partner never fight at all? Have you reached a kind of strange stalemate where you are oddly polite and cool toward each other?
Never fighting isn’t exactly a sign of a healthy marriage.
Often, it’s a sign that both you and your partner have checked out and stopped trying.
There’s No Intimacy
If you and your partner are no longer intimate with each other, something is off with your marriage.
Every couple goes through a dry spell from time to time, but if these dry spells last for extended periods of time, you and partner could likely benefit from working with a counselor.
One of You Cheated
If you or your partner was unfaithful — or if both of you were unfaithful — and you want to try and make the marriage work, you definitely need to work with a counselor.
This is a very difficult thing to work through, and it’s even more difficult to try and work through it without an objective professional’s help.
You Think You Need It
Finally, do you think you need to see a counselor?
Even if none of these other signs are present, if something feels off in your marriage, a counselor can help. You deserve to feel happy and content with your partnership.
If you don’t, reach out and find someone who can help you experience those feelings.
How to Choose a Marriage Counselor
Marriage counseling can be highly effective for many people. In fact, it has a 75 percent success rate.
In order to experience that success, though, you need to choose the right counselor. Here are some tips that will help you do just that:
- Search reputable online directories
- Research their credentials and educational background
- Find out how long they’ve been practicing
- Ask if they have any advanced training
- Ask about their schedule and availability
Try to talk to your potential counselor on the phone before your first session. This will help you get an idea of how you get along with them and whether you have a good rapport.
Work with a Marriage Counselor Today
Now that you know more about the benefits of working with a marriage counselor, do you think that you and your partner could benefit from seeing one?
If so, be sure to keep the information in this article in mind so that you can find the best counselor for your specific needs and goals.
Are you ready to start working with a marriage counselor? If you are and you live in or around the Beverly Hills area, contact us at Blair Wellness Group today.
Dr. Blair provides a wide range of therapies, including relationship therapy and marriage and divorce counseling, as well as anxiety and addiction services.